[some kind of knife carves my pain]

Sunday, August 28, 2005

confused

yest went out wif ma baby....bought maself a perfume....bought 4 her a pants...a shirt n a sumsort of sweater.....it was damn tirin....but havin her by ma side makes the tiredness goes away....but sumtin is on ma mind...eva sinz she accept me....yeah....

does she reli wan me?
does she reli luv me?
watz her point to take me bak?

i wonda....

carving itself again at 10:30 AM

Thursday, August 25, 2005

sick

haix....2dae kinda sad 4 me....one fact is tat....i had things plan 4 2dae to mit ma baby...bt in the end she cancel it...saein she nd go hospital....hmmm...per nk bt....nk caya tk nk....also dunno la....the feelin inside me reli sux ryt nw...yeah....hw i wish i hv a gift to noe hw a person is feelin 2wards me....wat dey tink bout me...witout dem tellin it to me frm deir mouth....i wish...coz ryt nw i do wan tat gift...coz im confused...who is reli in her heart...does she reli wan me?
haix...i duno....

juz nw mit aisah at skul....shes a nice gerl...kinda ok wif her....per nk bt kn...juz frenz wat....gd tat i noe her...

carving itself again at 10:40 PM

Sunday, August 21, 2005

weeeeee!!!!

yest was d happiest dae of ma life....yesh....weeee
im so hapi....damn reli hapi....
firstly i went to sentosa wif ma classmates....
yeah the scenery was great....haha
yeah chicks everywhere....
den there is tiz chn gerl....
shes onli ok lookin la...but kinda hot....hehehe
at harbour front wen on our way hum....we go eat first....
she was there....yeah wif the make up she look nice...
n she was lookin at me....mayb coz i also smoke...saem as her....
nah nt ma type....ma heart is onli 4 one....weeee
reny....onli reny....
yeah yest she finali gif me an answer...
a smile wipe out tat sad look....
yeah...im so hapi...veri hapi....but sadly 2dae she is sick...at hum...
bb...i wanna b by ur side ryt nw b....
im reli worried tat u r sick...
b hav lots of rest n get well soon

carving itself again at 4:10 PM

Friday, August 19, 2005

sad, depressed n rejected

haix...i dunno watelse to sae...afta wat happen last nyt...i juz feel so sad...yeah i did call ashikin...ma sis...a fren...sumone who noes bout me...mux betta than anione...hmmm...

im juz askin maself....is tiz true luv? am i reli in luv wif reny? y do i get sux a treatment frm her? muz it hurts so badly? y is tiz feelin so diff? y cn i feel her in ma heart? yeah i cn sumhw feel her in ma heart...such as wat she's doin...hw she's doin...n sort of stuff...y? y? n y?

is tiz reli worth it?

carving itself again at 10:43 PM

Thursday, August 18, 2005

haix

yest im so hapi gt to mit reny....yeah at last dpt jugak hilang kn rindu tu jap....hehehe....well she's so swit as eva....n so cute....wen she smile im so hapi....bt ryt nw im feelin kinda low....well she still haven given me an answer afta yest....yesh i do wan her bak....she's nt online nw....huhur....surely she's out wif tat guy....haix...itz so sad....reny if eva ur readin tiz i juz wanna let u noe....i reli luv ya....i reli wan u bak....daes afta we break up i cant stop tinkin bout u...in ma mind i onli wan u bak....i dun care bout otha gerls ard....i onli hav ya in ma heart....onli u....itz hard...ma heart is feelin pain each dae....the pain grew as daes past....ur name is always on ma lips...yesh it is...i always wanna talk bout u to ma frenz...wat i sae in the past tat i wont regret if u neva accept me...well itz bullshit....im regretin everytin....i nd u by ma side...i nd ur care ur luv, i reli nd ya bak....i do nd u bak....plz....cum bak....im so in luv wif ya....

carving itself again at 7:51 PM

Tuesday, August 16, 2005

mixed

hey....
im bak....well lets c...hmmm....k mst first....i pass 2 fail 2 papers....n tiz is sick...y must ma mst b lyk tiz? itz always the same each sem....haix...i dunno wat to do...i wanna get betta grades....i wanna finiz ma poly n get ma diploma....

tatz one thing....a lil hapi tat i pass 2 papers uh

nw reny....

i dunno y....
evasinz i break up wif her...itz hard 4 me to 4gt her....n everydae ma head hurts....tinkin bout her....so does ma heart....it needs her love, her care, her warmth, i reli mis her veri mux.....i reli wan her bak...itz reli odd 4 me to feel tiz way afta a break up...but yeah itz true....i reli luv her....i need her....ma life is in total chaos ryt nw....i cant get ma life goin....everdae i kept tinkin bout her....itz always reny....reny n reny....notin seems to get to ma head....reny i nd u to restore oder to ma life....yesh i reli need u....u r wat i nd ryt nw....yes i was a fool last tym...n im terribly sori....plz gif me tiz chance....i trully luv ya reny...i do luv ya....itz cumin frm the bottom of ma heart....

carving itself again at 11:36 PM

Sunday, August 07, 2005

hapinez

yeah...hapinez lite up ma face again....yeah....

i score 2 nice goals yest....i wish there was a replay....hahaha
itz damn nice.....
i suffer sum bruises on ma elbow n ma right palm...
coz i tumble down....

ok reny....
hmmmm.......
let me sae it st8.....
i dun wanna break up....
but ur attitude 2wards me sae so....
tat u wan it....
if u reli wan it....
juz tell me...
i wont regret breakin up wif ya....

lyk i always said...
life hav to go on....
n we learn frm our mistakes....
n in future we will b betta...
n get a handsome reward....
frm all those past mistakes we hav learnt....

carving itself again at 4:05 PM

Saturday, August 06, 2005

baby im sori, i was being foolish to doubt ya....i dun wanna lose u baby...

yest was last dae of mst...neva gt to mit her coz she goin 4 the dikir barat comp wif her sis....sad 4 me....i drag maself to skul....feelin down....coz i noe im nt gonna mit her....paper was tough....itz hard to do....especially section b....i tink i cn pass....afta paper i went to town wif ma klaz...
we eat at far east plaza....den watch the weddin crasher at LIDO....the show was awesome.....damn funni n kewl....those 2 cn reli talk crap....

here cum the worst part....afta the show...i call her....coz miz her mah....den she sae shes at the park wif her abg ipar fren....i tot shes juz wif the guy onli....den i was fuked up alredi....bt i try to kewl down....i was raging inside....tinkin....god damn it....she cn go out wif tiz guy at tiz tym of the nyt....bt she hav no tym to mit me....wth....tat watz goin thru ma mind....i den hung up the phone wen i hear the guys voice....den we sms...i sae i dun wanna spoil ur party sinz u wanna crash out wif ya frenz.....n den we soon started quarrelin...in the end i found out there were 5 ppl at tt tym....gosh....wat did i do...im neva tiz jelez easily.....i dunno juz tat i luv her so mux....i mish her everytime i neva get to c her....the feelin inside is so diff frm all the rez of the gerls i hav been wif....n the whole nyt i was beggin 4 her 4gifness....beggin 4 tiz last chance....bt it cum to no avail....nw shes havin fever coz of wat happen last nyt....y did i suddenly bcum tat way...y? i was damn foolish....arggghhhh

bb i luv u....
i neva wanna lose u.....
itz hard to imagine life wifout ya....
everidae ma mind was tinkin bout ya...

weneva i dun miit ya....
i will mish ya badly...
i cant slip well...
i cant tink st8....

im sori bout last nyt...
i was a fool 2 doubt ya...
i neva believe i was sux a jerk last nyt...

plz 4gif me....
gif me tiz last chance....
u r everytin to me...

i beg ya....
plz....
tiz is the truth cumin frm ma heart....
i luv ya....
n no otha woman cn eva replace ya....
even if we been 2geda 4 a while...
bt tiz love is so pure tat....
i feel bad to taint it wif ma jealousy....
im sori bb....
plz do 4gif me.....

carving itself again at 3:45 AM

Tuesday, August 02, 2005

GUyS!!!

us guys.....

we r full of ego....
betol tk?
mmg betol....
we r full of ego....
tat we always hide our true feelings
nt wantin to let ppl noe....
we wanna win everytin...
wanna b betta than anione....

but deep down inside there is always a soft-side...
especially 4 gerls....
juz lyk me....
hehehe...
seriusly....
itz hard 4 us guys to tell the gerl tat we luv her so mux....
we juz dun wanna b label lyk so soft...
lembek....
men r always known 2 b tough....
tatz y itz hard 4 dem to tell the gerl dey lyk her....
dey always wait 4 d gerl to sae....
itz always lyk tat lor....
in the end wen the gerl gt a guy...
we get jealous...
padahal sendiri sala...
den bila da ada matair....
kita lgi cpt jelez....
lgi2 kalo nmpk kiter nyer pompan ngan laki lain....
ada betol?
mmg betol....
jelez tu tetap ada....
we guys....
even how fierce we r on the outside...
tpi di dlm tetap kita syg....
kita konkong....
psl syg....
psl kita tk nk ilang dier pat laki lain...
tpi kdg2 pompan complain....
smua tk blh....
kena konkong....
padahal dorg tk tau....
kitaorg syg dorg giler babi...
tk nk ilang dorg....
ada pompan da kasi freedom....
dorg main2 lak....
nk fling2....
ni la...
da kasi freedom mau fling...
bila kena konkong...
complain...
kdg2 tk paham uh....
ada laki lak...
kaki pompan...
tk perna nk setia....
tatz nt me...
hehehe
i setia nyer org....

k me org dier...
mmg bnyk kwn pompan...
tpi hati setia pada satu...
RENY!!!!
nk ckp dulu kaki fling jugak....
tpi skrg tk....
umor da brape....
nk settle down cpt2....
tpi degree mesti dpt dulu...
aru blh settle down....
me nyer org tk suke konkong pompan sgt....
ada limit dier uh nk konkong....
mcm tk mo kasi keje...
nk kua ngan kwn laki ker pompan ker....
i dun mind...
as long as pandai jaga diri suda....
kalo i nmpk pat luar...
lain mcm ngan laki lain....
tau jer la tu pompan....
i dun go 4 sepak all those stuff...
i juz sae...
u wan tt guy... go ahead....
i dun mind....

so tatz bout me 2wards gerls....

carving itself again at 9:07 PM

2nd MST

tiz sux sia.....
maths....
wtf....
y so damn fuckin hard....
y muz hav integration all those stuff...
ma mind was goin bonkers juz nw...
1st qns was ok 4 me....
but de 2nd qns onwards was helll.....
i dunno wat to write animore...
but i juz anihow write...

afta tat i go hum st8....
neva wait 4 ma classmates...
kalo alik ngan dorg confirm bbual psl tdi nyer paper...
so betta b alone wen u r fucked up...

carving itself again at 9:01 PM

Monday, August 01, 2005

FIRST DAY OF MST

wat a day....

first day of ma mst....
MCT paper...

MCT ma fav subjek....
a smooth start to the MSt....

mishin ma baby...always....

dunno if she reli mish me....

few daes neva talk on the phone...

neva sms....
juz msn....
tu pon dier mcm tk de mood nk lyn kiter....

ntah la kalo da ada org lain.....

da tk nk fikir2 la....

bsk maths paper ballsss...

bila mau start blaja.....

aiyooooo....

stress dok....

carving itself again at 6:34 PM